’ ‘Very well, Melusine, you win,’ Gerald said unguardedly, and dug his hand into his pocket. And how can I get into one brief letter the complex accumulated desires of what is now, I find on reference to my diary, nearly sixteen months of letting my mind run on you— ever since that jolly party at Surbiton, where we raced and beat the other boat. I thought it was a mirror at the first, for it was so very like myself. ’ ‘She?’ scoffed Martha. She seemed to think he was merely the paymaster, handing over the means of her freedom. Michelle walked towards the sloping Victorian stairs. There were too many kills, too many unsolved files in too many cabinets. Every now and then her general presence became radiantly dazzling in his eyes; she would appear in the street coming toward him, a surprise, so fine and smiling and welcoming was she, so expanded and illuminated and living, in contrast with his mere expectation. No matter what happened, whether the road smoothed out or became still rougher, he would always be carrying this secret with him; and each time he recalled it, the rack. It needs cultivating, I think.
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